How to Deal With The Fact that You May Have Married Wrong?
Married Wrong: If you are reading this, it is likely that you are married to someone who has a lot of the qualities that make for a good spouse. The question then becomes why do you feel like your marriage isn’t what it should be? It might not be as simple as “you just shouldn’t have gotten married.” There may be other factors at play. Here’s how to figure out if you need some help in figuring out whether or not your marriage needs fixing.
- Accept Imperfections – Appreciate that this is the best version of your spouse you will ever get and anything else is a bonus.
- Letting Go of Fantasies – Focus on the reality of your relationship. Be Real with each other.
- Focus on the Spiritual Aspect of your relationship – Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas asks the question, “What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?”
- Ask the Right Questions:
- Can I accommodate your imperfections with humour and grace?
- Can I tolerate your inability to read my mind and make everything all better?
- Can I negotiate our disagreements with love and intelligence? Without losing myself to fear and emotion?
- Am I willing to do the introspective work required of marriage? Can I muster the self-awareness needed to keep from driving you away?
- Do I think I am brave enough to continue loving you, despite your flaws, and, more importantly, despite mine?
Take time to answers these questions and you will see that sometimes it just takes making a conscious effort to see improvements in your relationships.
